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Join Me for a Star Wars Marathon!

We are now just 11 days away from the release of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. That means today is literally the perfect time to start your Star Wars marathon leading up to the upcoming final chapter of the Skywalker saga. Join me in watching and celebrating one of cinema’s most beloved movie series!

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The Disappearance of 5MMG

Where have I been? Where do I even begin? Well, my friends, let me fill you in! As you may have noticed, I haven’t posted any new content on my site over the past 2 months. I vanished abruptly and without explanation. Please allow me this opportunity to apologize and explain why I went away.

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First Blood Review

Years after the Vietnam War, legendary soldier John Rambo travels through a small town where he is wrongfully arrested and abused. Their assault triggers his PTSD, causing him to break free and flee into the forest. Rambo is pursued by the police who are unaware that he’s an expert in guerilla warfare.

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The Peanut Butter Falcon Review

An ill-fated fisherman and a young man with Down syndrome converge while on the run from distinctly different circumstances and come to form an unforgettable friendship in this charming southern adventure that leads them through the American frontier in pursuit of their dreams and a better life.

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Ready or Not Review

Newlywed bride Grace finds herself tied into a deadly game of chance as part of her new family’s wedding night tradition, and she’ll have to find a way to survive the night and escape her crazy new in-laws while quickly coming to terms with the fact that she has clearly married into the wrong family.

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Spoiler Talk

Quentin Tarantino treads treacherous waters in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by putting us right in the midst of the infamous Manson murders of 1969. In order to most clearly express my thoughts on the film, I have decided to talk about it at length, without restriction, in this spoiler-filled post.

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Angel Has Fallen Review

After putting in plenty of years and two prior movies spent protecting the President, Secret Service member Mike Banning is up for promotion. However, after an assassination attempt on the President via drone strike, Banning takes the blame, and he’ll have to fight to clear his name.

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Weekly Update (9/16/19)

I’m in the middle of my Rambo marathon and on my way to becoming a full-fledged, guerilla warfare killer green beret! Yet for some reason, I still can’t seem to help wanting to yell out, “ADRIAAAANNNNN!!!” In this week’s update, I talk about Rambo and becoming approved for IMDb’s external reviews!

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Weekly Update (9/9/19)

This upcoming week is all about catching up on reviews and Rambo movies! With Rambo: Last Blood coming out in less than a week, I’ll be watching (and hopefully reviewing) all of the Rambo movies leading up to its release. This weekly update also covers site changes and causality!

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Weekly Update (9/2/19)

I’m trying out a new weekly update feature to keep you all in the loop. I used to do semi-regular blog post updates on my site back when it was on Weebly, but it’s been a long time since then. These posts are meant to inform you of what I’ve been up to and what to look forward to!

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The Hard Shark Life (Part 1)

So many movies make sharks out to be relentless, monstrous, and murderous killing machines. Not only is it scientifically inaccurate, but it’s an unfair depiction solely manufactured for the sake of cheap scares. In part one of this blog, I dive into which movies get it wrong and which ones get it right.

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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Review

Nearly forty years after Alvin Schwartz’ beloved book of short horror stories titled Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark terrified a whole generation of curious young readers, Academy Award-winning director Guillermo del Toro helps bring the pages to life on the big screen, in this horror film made for teens.

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47 Meters Down: Uncaged Review

When four girls go scuba diving to explore an ancient, underwater Mayan city, they find that they’re not alone, and they’re being hunted. This sequel to 2017’s 47 Meters Down brings back the great whites, but shakes up for the formula a bit by adding an underwater maze to the mix.

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The Squabble Over Spider-Man

Spider-Man’s current contract dispute between Disney and Sony is an intricate web of events that dates back to 1999 when Marvel Comics was in danger of going bankrupt and started selling off the film rights of their iconic superhero characters just to keep their business afloat.

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Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around

Suddenly out of the blue, the wide world of web-heads was hit with a devastating downpour of bad news. After contract negotiations between Disney and Sony Pictures fell through, down came the rain, and it washed Spider-Man all the way out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

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Blinded by the Light Review

Based on a true story about a down-on-his-luck Pakistani teenager named Javed living in Great Britain in the 1980s, who is in a social stranglehold by his strict father. Javed’s bleak outlook becomes changed completely after he is introduced to the music of the All-American legend, Bruce Springsteen.

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The Kitchen Review

Married into a life of crime, three women living in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City in the late ‘70s find themselves trapped in their incarcerated husband’s shadows. Tired of being weak and dependent, the ladies band together to take control of their situation by trying to take over the mob.

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Shazam! Review

A troubled and frequent runaway boy by the name of Billy Batson encounters an expiring ancient wizard who is the last of his kind. The wizard has personally chosen Billy, a child who is pure of heart, to inherit his superpowers, and to fulfill his destiny as the champion hero known as Shazam!

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Dumbo Review

Tim Burton serves as the directorial ringmaster in this 2019 reimagining of Disney’s Dumbo, nearly eighty years after the original film first soared in cinemas. As part of the traveling Medici Circus, Dumbo quickly transcends from freak to fan favorite with his fantastic talent to take flight!

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Take My Breath Away

It’s hard for me to even believe, but up until this year, my girlfriend had somehow never seen a Tom Cruise movie. How is that even possible? How has the girlfriend of 5 Minute Movie Guy, a Tom Cruise aficionado, never seen even just one of his movies? How have I failed her so?

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Again I rise – from the ashes of a website long forgotten, from an empty chamber across the endlessly flowing current of the Web, from an ancient relic of what once was but has ceased to be. What has befallen this dilapidated place? Negligence. Despair. But most of all… disdain.